Unless you\u2019re a sociopath, most of us don\u2019t like conflicts. However, conflict is a reality every leader faces sooner or later. And when you\u2019re in a conflict situation there are three ways most people react. They become:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a long term conflict management strategy none of these approaches really works. Successful conflict management depends on leaders being relationally assertive. That means clearly, calmly and respectfully communicating your position on the issue while also listening at depth to the other party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this article I outline eight practices that you can follow as a leader to effectively manage conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Prepare Yourself Beforehand<\/strong> But of course, one is not always aware in advance that they are about to enter a conflict zone!<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Breathing, Voice and Body Language<\/strong> 3. Listen Deeply and Ask Questions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Seek to look below the surface of what the other is saying and not just at the presenting issue or problem to try to discern the real cause generating the conflict. To do that use the following reflective listening skills:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also use a few open-ended questions (i.e. ones that can\u2019t be answered by \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019) to clarify if needed. \u2018What else?\u2019 is often a helpful question to ensure they have said all they have wanted to express.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask their opinion on possible solutions, again using paraphrase, perception check and open-ended questions where appropriate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Ask How their Proposal Is Likely to Affect Others (Where Relevant)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If their concern is addressed how do they think it is likely to affect other parts of the organisation and its people. Mention specific groups you believe might be adversely impacted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Seek Win-Win Solutions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n By asking empowering and open-ended questions seek to generate solutions to the conflict you both (as well as the organisation) could accept. Another helpful tactic here is to say \u2018and\u2019 instead of \u2018but\u2019. For example, \u2018How could we upgrade our computer system and launch the proposed market strategy?\u2019 Using \u2018but\u2019 tends to push the other party into defensive mode, forcing them to justify and possibly strengthening their position. Whereas \u2018and\u2019 invites both parties into a more collaborative and creative response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. Avoid Stereotyping<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Statements such as \u2018you\u2019re always coming up with impractical proposals\u2019 or \u2018you never get your reports in on time\u2019 are guaranteed to cause the other to get off-side or become defensive. Also they may be able to identify one or more occasions that contradict your \u2018always\u2019 or \u2018never\u2019 claim, thereby undermining your credibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7. Summarize the Outcome<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 8. Follow Up<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Whatever the outcome reached in (7) as the leader personally follow up later to check developments and in the case of (7.3) how the person is now feeling. By doing so you communicate respect and care, thereby helping to grow a healthy work place culture where the numbers of intractable conflicts are likely to be considerably fewer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Author and conflict management consultant Speed Leas has identified five levels of conflict. As the conflict escalates through each of the five levels it becomes increasingly harder to resolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Clearly then it is important that leaders need to intervene in managing the conflict at the earliest level possible; ideally at levels 1 or 2 and certainly before it reaches levels 4 and 5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In the light of all this it\u2019s critical that leaders are alert to potential and emerging conflicts in their organizations and equipped to intervene, preferably at Level 1. So rather than approaching conflict as a negative, see it as an opportunity if addressed before it becomes too entrenched. Through divergent perspectives and ideas creative insights could well emerge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you know you\u2019re about to enter a potential conflict situation prepare for it by researching as much as possible:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
When entering the conflict zone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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