{"id":2678,"date":"2022-09-26T14:24:48","date_gmt":"2022-09-26T04:24:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.australiancoachingcollective.com.au\/?p=2678"},"modified":"2022-09-26T14:24:50","modified_gmt":"2022-09-26T04:24:50","slug":"can-you-be-too-helpful-for-your-own-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.australiancoachingcollective.com.au\/index.php\/2022\/09\/26\/can-you-be-too-helpful-for-your-own-good\/","title":{"rendered":"Can you be too helpful for your own good?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The impact of preferences on behaviour   <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all have traits (preferences and interests) that can help us in our endeavours, or which can potentially derail us.\u00a0 As a leadership coach I spend considerable time helping clients understand their strengths so they can utilise them to their advantage.\u00a0 Equally important is understanding that traits can potentially hinder us in our endeavours, especially as related to leadership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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At the Australian Coaching Collective (ACC), we have access to a variety of talent development resources which assist clients with greater self-awareness and ongoing growth.\u00a0\u00a0 One such comprehensive instrument is known as \u2018Harrison Assessments (HA).\u2019\u00a0 Essentially HA offers multiple talent management reports from one 20-minute questionnaire. \u00a0They assist organisations in their acquisition, development, and retention of talent.\u00a0 More information can be found at
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One foundational theory that undergirds HA work is known as \u201cEnjoyment Performance Theory\u201d. As the name suggests, it supposes people will perform best when they are doing what they enjoy, most of the time.  Not rocket science, right? Yet it\u2019s an incredibly powerful principle when it comes to a person\u2019s performance and our ability to engage and retain them.  More on this in another article perhaps!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A second theory of HA is known as \u201cParadox Theory,\u201d a term which may not be as intuitively understood.\u00a0 In essence, Paradox Theory supposes that having a strong trait (preference or interest) may be potentially unhelpful unless it is balanced by a complimentary paradoxical (or seemingly opposite) trait.\u00a0 A common example would be the paradox of \u2018Tough Love\u201d.\u00a0 In the context of raising well balanced children one needs both love and discipline to make it work. If parenting is low in discipline, they spoil the child. If one is low in empathetic love, they make their child fearful or bitter. HA has identified 12 sets of these paradoxical traits which have the potential to help or hinder us, particularly in leadership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the paradoxes that my clients (especially in the not-for-profit (NFP) sector) often have out of balance is known as the \u201cEquity Mindset\u201d or \u201cPower\u201d paradox. It predominantly involves how we set relational boundaries. It looks at the relationship between responding to the needs of others, \u201cHelpful\u201d, and putting forward your own personal needs, \u201cAssertive\u201d. One of the greatest challenges of leadership is knowing how to use the level of power you have to ensure mutual needs are met. This is the key to enduring and positive relationships. I have observed that many NFP leaders tend to be highly motivated to respond to the needs of others, which is admirable.\u00a0 However, can you be too helpful?\u00a0 A better question may be \u201cis my strong desire to be helpful adequately balanced with assertiveness so that it does not hinder me or others?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The adjacent graph shows an individual whose Helpful trait is much higher than their Assertive trait.\u00a0 You will note the shaded circle (normal range of behaviour) is predominately in the lower right quadrant, titled \u201cself-sacrificing\u201d. Some may wear this well as a badge of honour, but we find imbalances always result in unintended consequences (UCs).\u00a0\u00a0 For this imbalance, UCs may include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n